How Do You Know When To Breakup With Someone – The simple little things

Every relationship can have its ups and downs without everything turning to turmoil. But when the downs outnumber the ups, then it may be time to leave.4 min

87 shares, 128 points

Relationships are a very sensitive thing. However, there is a point in a romantic relationship when one side or both sides have had enough, and it is time to walk out the door. Ending a relationship does not get easier with experience or age, it can be very hurtful and devastating.

Sometimes we become caught up in schedules and patterns so much that we become short sighted to important details – from going on more group dates than solo ones to one of you deciding you absolutely won't go to couples' therapy, there are many times the writing is on the wall—as long as you pay enough attention.

 Here, straight from psychologists and other relationship experts, are the surefire warning signs to watch out for.

#1 You’re Not Afraid of Losing Them –  If there’s one thing that really shows it’s time to end the relationship, it’s if you don’t care if it ends. If you really love someone like you may think you do, then you will always want them in your life. The thought of losing them should scare you. If it doesn’t, then maybe it’s time to call it quits. 

Whether you have lost respect for them, or if you feel like they have lost respect for you, it’s a sign that things are headed south really quickly. How can you have a healthy relationship with someone who you don’t respect or they don’t respect you? The answer is simple: you can’t.

#2 Physical Contact Has Become a Scarce Comodity – Cuddling, snuggling, spooning, are the little yet very important juice of healthy relationships — this is proof there's some serious chemistry at work. This sort of physical contact releases oxytocin, a hormone that is excellent for the heart and makes you feel connected to your partner. 

It greatly reduces the levels of cortisol, the so-called "stress hormone," and triggers dopamine, the pleasure hormone. If you start to notice that you and your partner spend less and less time doing these little things, it could be an unconscious body language cue that your time together is up. 

#3 Small Problems Expands Over Time – Every relationship has both good, not-so-good, really ugly moments. New lovers will do their best to evaluate and appreciate the satisfying connections and ignore the things that are irritating. But over time, some of the little but not-so-good moments start to fester and are more difficult for the other person to ignore. Seeminly little things like being chronically late, not arranging clothes properly, or forgetting a promise can trigger resentfulness.

And there are some more serious ugly moments like keeping staying close to an ex or getting too drunk, or not paying the bills on time. At some point, these upsetting behaviors reach a critical level, the other partner will not be able to tolerate them anymore. When the relationship is eroded by day-by-day resentments, the balance of that relationship will ship in the wrong direction.

#4 They No Longer Make you Laugh – Everyone knows that laughter is the best medicine. If there's very little of it in your relationship, your partnership could be ailing. "If you've come to notice that you no longer laugh as you used to and there seems to be very little joy in the relationship, it's not a good sign. As a couple, your emotional life has isn't going as it ought to – and may require a serious attention.

The things they do and have always done is just who they are. If you are finding yourself getting frustrated at the things you once loved about them, then it’s time to wake up and realize what’s going on. You’re just not into them anymore like you used to be.

#5 When Something Big Happens, They Are Not The First You Tell – When you get a promotion, lose a big client, or win your fantasy football league, who's the first person you tell? "If someone comes before your partner in sharing either good or bad news, they are no longer your primary confidant, your closest friend. Over time, that evolves into a stronger relationship with others, and a weakened link to your partner. When this happens, it might be time to throw in the towel.

#6 You See Your Relationship As An Obligation – According to a 2016 study published in Current Psychology, people are more likely to stay in relationships that they've already invested time and effort in. If it feels like you’re pulling teeth when you ask them to visit your family, friends, or accompany you to an important event, then something is clearly wrong. Your partner should want to be with you and support you in all of those situations.

This can also go for them, too. If you are feeling frustrated and reluctant when they want you to go with them to important things in their lives, then something is off, and you should really do some self-reflecting when it comes to how you really feel about your partner.

#7 You're No Longer Doing "Your" Activities Together – Every couple falls into rituals or habits that become their 'thing'. When one person starts bailing on those plans or doing them on their own repeatedly, it could be a sign that the relationship is nearing its end.

Having some alone time is healthy. But when you're actively avoiding spending time or sharing space with your partner, its a sign. If it feels like your mate values everyone and everything over you and they don't make the time for the things that are important to you, despite your efforts in effective communication, that's a huge issue.

#8 You're Not Talking About The Future Anymore – Couples who are very much into each other discuss the future enthusiastically, They regularly discuss things like what's next in their careers, where they want to live, and whether or not they want to have kids. "Looking toward the future is a relationship 'vital sign.' 

Now, you don’t necessarily have to talk about kids or marriage or anything like that. But if you stop making plans for even a month or two months down the road, then it’s a sign that you both don’t see yourselves with each other at that point – especially when all you used to do was talk about the future.

#9 You Already Know the Truth – Each relationship has a process of negotiation, compromise, but sometimes values are different and distinct to ever be reconciled without a dramatic compromise that will possibly result in a rift because one of you will struggle against what you want and what you have decide in order to satisfy and fulfill the needs of your partner. 

Many people feel that if they’ve been with someone for a long time, they should “try to make it work.” But what is there to make work when you know deep down that you no longer feel the same way about them?

If your instinct or gut keeps you feeling worried, it's a huge sign that something is up and needs to be dealt with by getting out of this negative mental space. Ending a relationship can be one of the biggest decisions you can make in your life. If you’re feeling reluctant and unsure if you’re making the right choice by moving on

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